Kildare, Ireland – Monday.

Rae.

I’ve been watching him since we got here, cream fisherman sweater with the sleeves pushed up, his toned arms are tanned, and I can see the muscles in his neck each time he moves. I know he will be able to lift me, toss me around even, I hope.

The sight of his heartbeat in the side of his neck, the whiff of him I get each time he shifts on his barstool, the blood rushing through his veins is calling to the monster deep inside me. His sculpted jawline, handsome good looks and the scent of sandalwood soap are calling to the woman inside me. I’ll let both run wild tonight, get everything I want from him and more. Use him to satisfy all of my needs.

I get distracted from my musings about the fisherman when I see someone looking at us and making his way over to the table. No, not just looking at us, he looks like he wants to fuck Ciara on the table. When I tell her, and she looks over at him, I see the look on her face and instantly know who it is, even before she tells me.

“It’s Rian! Is he coming over here?” I watch her take a few quick gulps of her beer.

“No fucking way.” I nod at her, my eyes widening. “And yes. Yes, he is.”

“I am what?” I watch Ciara blush when she hears his voice and I know she has it bad.

“Coming over to meet your woman’s best friend.” I quickly shove my hand toward him, shaking his. “I’m Rae. You must be Rian?” When I motion for him to take a seat I watch as Ciara scoots over and the quiet exchange between the two makes me smile.

I look back up at the man across the bar, whom I spotted earlier, and decide to leave them to it and go out on my own adventure. “I will give you two the table and head over to the bar. There is a gentleman caller I’d like to speak with.” I stand from the table, nodding to the couple and make a beeline straight for the handsome man in the white sweater who waved at me a few moments before. His blond hair and bronze skin calling to me. He is perfect and I anticipate that we will have an incredible night.

“Hi!” I tell him when I take the barstool next to his. “I’m Rae.” Reaching my hand out I shake his.

“Cody,” he tells me as he closes his large hand around mine. When he does, I take in a deep breath, getting lost in the scent of him. I can hear the blood rushing through his veins, the smell of it is so intoxicating I have to fight back the urge to lick my lips. “How are you doing tonight, Rae?” he asks and I smile at him, letting my eyes flash silver and slipping a thought into his mind. I watch his eyes widen, and I know he is picturing my naked body beneath his as they do. I continue to feed him other thoughts of us together.

Finally, he clears his throat. “I’m sorry. I got distracted for a minute,” Cody apologizes to me and I smile at him. I set my hand on top of his lying on top of the bar and run it up his forearm. Sweater cuffed around his elbows, the touch of my hand on his bare skin sends a shock through me. I’ve already decided to go home with him, I just have to make sure he asks.

“No worries.” I smile at him and send him another image of us naked together.

We get lost in small talk for a while, the entire time I continue to advance toward him until I’m standing next to his barstool. My arms draped around his neck, when I kiss the sensitive skin over his jugular my mouth waters and my fangs press against my gums as I fight back the urge to release them into him.

When I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn and see Ciara and Rian standing behind me. “Hey. We are going to get out of here.” Ciara motions to Rian and I wiggle my eyebrows at him. He laughs and Ciara just smiles at me. I get lost in the moment and laugh with Rian, at the blush spreading across my friend’s face.

I lean in and hug Ciara. “Be safe,” I whisper in her ear and she nods and smiles at me.

“I really like him,” she whispers back in mine and I squeeze her again.

I watch the two go and turn back to Cody at the bar, the puppy dog look in his eyes tells me that he has had enough and that it is best if I go ahead and put him out of his misery now.

“Do you want to get out of here?” I ask him.

“I thought you would never ask, lass.” He stands from his barstool, putting his arm around my waist and leading me out of the pub.

* * *

A short drive later we pull up outside of a small house on the edge of town, and I wait while Cody gets out of the car and comes around to my side, opening the door for me.

Taking his hand as he helps me to my feet I fall forward into him, my body pressed against him. I can tell that under his thick sweater he has a toned body as mine collides with his. Tipping my head back and looking up into his eyes he drops his mouth to mine and takes me in a kiss.

A soft, generous kiss. I sigh into him, I had hoped from the looks of him back in the pub that he would have been a good hard fuck, but it looks like I’m out of luck in that department tonight. His hands close around my waist and he pins me back against his car. After we make out for a while, I pull away from him.

“Are we going to go inside?” I point in the direction of the house and let my mind fill his with more thoughts of my naked body on top of him. Watching him just nod dumbly at me. It shouldn’t be this easy. I shouldn’t take advantage of the men I meet, but I can’t help myself.

“Of course,” Cody tells me. He steps backward from me and slides his hands down my arms, taking one of my hands in his. Turning, he leads me toward the front door. I follow him, my eyes falling over his rounded ass, perfectly accentuated in his jeans.

I follow him into his house and immediately slip out of my shoes, taking off my jacket and tossing it onto a nearby chair. When Cody turns to face me I smile at him again, eager to get down to business. I know I’m wet and ready, I have been all night. I am growing impatient and I think I may have misjudged him. I flare my nostrils and steady my breath, not wanting to show my anger at myself to him.

“Rae?” He says my name and I can’t help myself, I send him more images of myself naked under him, legs wrapped around his waist.

“Cody?” I reply, stalking toward him and wrapping my arms around his neck. “Fuck me. I’m not the girl who needs you to make me feel at home and safe. I don’t need gentle small talk and you to reassure me about this. This is what I’m here for. I want you to fuck me.” He breathes out a sigh of relief and buries his face in my neck, kissing down over my skin to my collarbone, exposed in my low-cut shirt. When he reaches the tops of my breasts, I arch my back and push them out to him, encouraging him to take them in his mouth.

A man of few words, he clearly gets my hint and his hands find the hem of my shirt, ripping it off over my head. When his hands find my breasts and he gropes them hard, I hiss out my pleasure. The heat spreads through my body to my pussy.

I slide my hands down to my pants and unbutton them, when he sees me he does the same, taking off his sweater next and standing before me shirtless. I was right about him being toned, his chest and biceps are perfect and I know he will be able to catch me. I run toward him, jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist.

His hands cup my ass and he holds me to him, turning and carrying me to the kitchen table. Setting me on the edge of the table I let him slip off my pants completely and reach behind myself to unhook my bra. When I slip it down over my shoulders, I hold it out to him, hanging by the strap on one finger.

I smile, biting my lip, and let my eyes go hazy, imagining having him slip into me as I wrap my legs around him. I send him the image and he nods. “Good boy,” I tell him, he is catching on now, they all do eventually.

Watching as Cody slips his pants down over his hips, I am greeted with the image of his swollen cock and my mouth waters. I nod and he steps toward me.

“Condom?” I ask him as he stands between my legs. When his eyes widen I know he hadn’t thought this through and I hold my finger up to him.

I slip from the table and retrieve my pants from the floor, slipping the strip of condoms out of my back pocket and handing him one. Tossing the others and my pants back onto the floor. I watch him as he opens the small foil package and slips it over the tip of himself. Slipping out of my underwear, I turn to face the table. I place my hands on it, palms flat, and bend at the hips waiting for him to enter me from behind. I shift from foot to foot, chewing on my lower lip.

“Are you sure?” his deep, earnest voice asks me and I roll my eyes, grateful he can’t see me. Looking back over my shoulder I nod.

“Yes. I’m sure. Fuck me now!” I growl at him, my impatience growing. I’m over this gentle type who are always worried about my feelings. Tired of not being properly fucked, good and hard.

When he slides into me from behind I hiss out my pleasure. Tossing my head back I feel my hair splayed over my back, hoping he will take it in his hand, twist it around his wrist and ride me hard. I push the images in my mind through to his.

I can feel him hesitate, but then he moves. Hand wrapped around my hair he pulls me back onto him and impales me.

“Fuck,” I growl.

“Mmm… You feel amazing, Rae.”

Picking up the pace he starts to pound in and out of me and I catch his rhythm, riding him toward my orgasm. Slipping my hand down from the table and between my legs, I find my clit. I can tell he isn’t going to last long and I’m not going to have my entire night be wasted. I find my clit and rub circles over it, building my orgasm.

I can feel him buck and twitch inside me, I’m running out of time. My frustration growing. I seriously misjudged this one and I’m angry with myself for it. Squeezing my eyes closed I push the thoughts from my mind, and fill it with images of another man, a rougher man, hands around my throat, arching my back, pulling me onto him forcefully as he fills my pussy.

Reaching behind me I grab his wrist and jerk the free hand not tangled in my hair around me, making him grab my breast.

“Touch me. Please, Cody. I need you to do this for me. I need to come. Make me come on your cock.” I hear the desperation in my voice, hoping he does not.

When he pinches my nipple as I pinch my clit, I climb higher and get ready to come, just then he bucks in me and stills. I collapse forward onto the table, so close to my orgasm that my toes are curling, I don’t let up on my clit, and I push myself back onto him hard, over and over again, using him for my own needs as his still hard erection fills me.

“Fuck!” I growl as I explode, tensing around him, finally getting the release I was looking for.

When he drops his hands from my body and steps back, I turn and pounce on him, arms around his neck. I let my truth strength show now and pull him down to me. Extending my fangs and sinking them into the side of his neck, as a small gasp escapes his lips. It is all I hear as I fill my mouth with his blood, relishing the sweet taste of him.

Hot liquid pours down my throat as I gulp, bleeding him, I slow myself. Not wanting to hurt him, not wanting to take too much. When I’m sated, I flick my tongue out over the puncture wounds in the side of his neck and let my saliva heal him. I pull back and let my eyes flash silver again, sending him images of my mouth on his, on his neck, peppering him with kisses and love bites.

He will be left with one hell of a bruise tomorrow, but I know well enough he won’t remember what happened. Won’t recall my attack and he will be left remembering our sex and my leaving him a massive hickey. I smile at him, running my hand down over his jaw.

“Thank you,” I say, biting my lower lip again, retracting my fangs and bending to pick up my pants.

"You’re leaving?” he asks, the hurt is evident in his voice. Why are they all so clingy? I ask myself and turn to look at him. Again, the puppy dog eyes get me and I shake my head.

“I can stay,” I tell him, holding my hand out to him and letting him lead me to his bedroom.

* * *

The clock on the nightstand says it is three in the morning. I’ll never be able to get a cab back to the pub to get my car and I know Ciara is with Rian and I don’t want to interrupt the two of them. I slowly, carefully, slip out from under the arm of the man whose bed I am in and creep from the room. Finding my clothes, in a pile on the floor by the table, I pick them up and quickly dress. I slip my phone from my pocket and send the text message I often send, but hate every time.

* * *

Edmund.

My phone rings and I know who it is immediately, at this time of night, that ring tone. It means only one thing, Rae.

Rae: I need you to come to pick me up. Please.

Her second message contains an address, and I climb from my bed and head toward the door. We have gotten into this routine. Ciara doesn’t know how bad it has gotten, or how many beds I have dragged our friend out of in the past year.

I can’t tell her no. Can’t turn away from her. But each time I get the call, or text, I die a little more inside. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I must tell her the truth. I have to tell her who she is to me.

The time never seems right, never feels like the right moment to say, “Oh, by the way, you’re my mate. Stop fucking everything on two legs.”

By the time I reach the front door I’m fuming, wondering which jackass from town she went home with tonight. I hope it was worth it. Because this is the last time I’ll be scraping her up off the pavement in the middle of the night.

When I pull up outside of the house, I recognize it. Knowing the guy from the pub, I doubt he was worth it, and I chuckle. This isn’t good, now she will be in a shitty mood because she wasted her time.

“Hey,” I call to Rae as I roll down the window. As she turns to me, silver eyes glowing in the night, filling with tears, I look away. I can’t handle her tears. Can’t handle her pain.

“Thanks,” she tells me as she opens the passenger side door and drops into the seat. “I didn’t want to call Ciara because she is out on a date.” I nod, there is always a reason she doesn’t want to tell my sister. I know it's because she is ashamed, but what she's been doing is no secret.

“It’s fine.” I clear my throat, watching my tone, my knuckles white on the steering wheel. “Where’s your car? The pub?” I ask as I put the car in gear and turn around heading back to town.

“Yes. Thank you, Edmund. I owe you.”

“You so owe me.” I lighten up now, realizing I can’t abandon her next time she calls me. I’ll be here, each and every time. Eventually, one of these days she will look at me and see me for who I am.

The ride to the pub is quiet, these rides often are. I drop her off at her car and watch as she gets into it, pulling out in front of me, and I follow her home.

Reaching the keep, we both park and head inside, sure to be silent and not wake anyone in the house. As we reach her bedroom door, Rae turns toward me and I smile.

“Thank you,” she whispers and gives me a hug. I pull her body against mine, enjoying every moment of the contact between us.

“Any time. Goodnight, Rae.” I kiss her cheek and pull back from her, the cold immediately taking over my body, making me regret missing the chance to wrap her in my arms and kiss her the way she needs to be kissed.

Kildare, Ireland – Tuesday.

Edmund.

“The magic knows” I hear my grandmother say as I enter the kitchen.

“Knows what?” I ask as I step into the room, seeing a bowl of fresh biscuits sitting on the table. Ciara is sitting there, looking nervous.

“When it is the right time and when it isn’t,” our grandmother tells me, turning back to the counter to grab a tray filled with an assortment of jams and jellies.

“So, it’s true? You found him?” I ask Ciara, trying to sound like I actually care, and not like it is killing me inside to be the one who knows where my mate is but can’t have her.

I listen to the conversation between Ciara and our grandmother, wondering about the things she says. I can’t focus on their words. I’m lost in my own thoughts, missing the chance to be with my mate and letting it eat away at me inside.

“Can I meet him?” I ask Ciara when she turns back to me finally.

“You want to?” she asks, her voice shaky.

“Of course I do,” I tell her, but I can sense she is hesitant to introduce me to him. “If it’s all right with you,” I go on.

“Okay, I’m meeting him in town tonight. You can take me.”

“Oh, a second date?’ I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

“Kind of a third, actually. Rae and I ran into him last night, she ran off with some fisherman, Rian and I spent the evening together. We had some drinks and ice cream.” When she tells me this I remember Rae mentioning that Ciara was on a date on the drive back to the pub last night. I watch my sister’s face turn dreamy. I grit my teeth and work at pushing away the jealousy again.

“I’m happy for you, sis,” I tell her, meaning it. I really am, even if I am deeply jealous.

“It will happen for you, too,” she tells me when she puts her hand on my shoulder.

“Och. Of course, it will. Give it time.” Our grandmother winks at me and I blush. I often wonder how much she knows.

“What time is your date?” I quickly change the subject, not wanting the attention on me for too long.

We finalize all of the details and decide to bring Rae with us, if we can track her down. No doubt she is still in bed sleeping off her one-night stand. I watch Ciara leave the kitchen and make to go on about my day. Before I reach the door I hear my grandmother’s voice.

“Not so fast,” she calls out to me. I turn and look at my grandmother.

“Yes?” I raise an eyebrow, wiping my palms on my pants.

“Have you told her yet?” As she speaks she motions for me to come back to the table and sit with her.

“Told who, what?” I play dumb. She is making it clear she does know.

“Told Rae that she is your mate. Edmund, you think I don’t see things? Think I don’t know? Child, I am over three-hundred years old, I know things you couldn’t imagine.” I let out a sigh at her words.

“How am I supposed to tell her? She isn’t ready. She doesn’t feel it. Doesn’t want it.” The knots twist in my stomach and I feel dizzy. Trying to focus on my grandmother’s next words.

“Then you wait.” Her warm voice and smile tell me she is confident in her assessment of the situation.

“It is killing me. Do you have any idea how badly it is killing me to see her parade around with these other men. All the while I know that she will never be happy with any of them because I’m the one. Me, right here!” I slow down, realizing I was raising my voice. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told your sister. Give it time.” She pats my hand and I smile at her.

“Okay.” I nod and head out of the kitchen. Both hoping to run into Rae and hoping I do not.

* * *

Rae.

When I wake the next morning I instantly regret my actions of the night before. I know it is wrong, know I shouldn’t be doing it. But I still can’t help myself, filling the void with meaningless sex is one thing, feeding on the men I spend my nights with is another.

A knock at the door brings me back to the present and I call out, “Come in!”

Ciara comes into the room, looking excited and full of joy. I try to be happy for her. She has found her mate and deserves to have her best friend be happy for her, not stuck in her own moping over not yet finding her own.

“We are going to go into town this afternoon, Edmund wants to meet Rian. Do you want to come with us?” she asks me as she comes over and sits on the bed next to me.

I stretch, yawn, and answer, “Sure.” I’m wishing I could talk about last night, but I know I can’t. I can’t handle her judgment.

“Are you all right?” Ciara’s tone is soft, and I know she is genuinely concerned about me. The past year things have gotten much worse. I have spent more nights out of this castle and in the beds of strange men, than I have spent in it.

“I am, just frustrated with things.” I sit up in bed and cross my legs under me. “I’m happy for you, Ciara. But I’m not going to lie, I’m a little jealous.” She nods, understanding filling her eyes. I dig my nails into my palms, trying to steady myself.

“I mean, when is it going to happen for me?” My voice sounds whiny and I cringe at my own neediness.

“You should go talk to Grandma, she just gave me a pep talk and is, no doubt, giving Edmund one now. Maybe that would help?”

I don’t appreciate that she is brushing me off on her grandmother, but I also understand that she doesn’t know what to say to me, doesn’t know how to navigate the situation, same as me. Puffing out my cheeks, I blow out a long breath and run my fingers through my hair. I nod at her. “Maybe you’re right.”

But a pep talk with Lydia would lead to the truth about things coming out and that is something I’m simply not ready for. It would get back to my parents, and given their hatred for the idea of feeding on humans I don’t know how they would take it. No, I do know how they would take it and that is the worst part. I’m broken, I’m darkness in an otherwise light world and I don’t know how to go about changing that.

I have a feeling that until I do I’ll never find my mate, because I don’t deserve him. Ciara places her hand on my knee. “Do you want to talk to me about it?” I just shake my head. Climbing from the bed I head to the bathroom, hoping she will be gone by the time I shower and change, so I can avoid the look in her eyes telling me she suspects my secrets.

* * *

When we pull up outside The Black Bean at five o’clock Ciara looks around for Rian. Not seeing any signs of him we head inside.

Once we place our orders and sit down at a small circle table by the window, I watch Ciara look out across the street, waiting for any sign of movement from the inn.

“Calm down,” I say, putting my hand on her bouncing knee to still her motion. “Don’t be nervous. It’s fine.”

“What’s there to be nervous about?” Edmund asks.

“Ha! Wait until you see him.” I smile at him. “The man is like a god, mmm… I wish he was my mate.” Swirling a strand of my hair around my finger I make eye contact with Edmund and wink. I watch him squirm in his seat and smile again.

“Please stop,” Ciara tells me, “you’re making him squirm on purpose.”

“I like it. It’s fun to get a rise out of you,” I say and turn to Edmund, confessing to him.

“There he is,” Ciara tells us as she gets up from the table, leaving Edmund and me behind.

We watch out of the window as Rian makes his way across the street to Ciara. “I’m happy for them,” Edmund tells me.

“Are you?” I ask, trying to keep the jealous tone out of my voice. “Me too. Happy and not at all jealous.” We exchange a look and both of us know the other is lying, but we don’t call each other on our bullshit.

I watch as Finn approaches the couple on the sidewalk. “What is he doing here?” Edmund asks. Ciara is waving to us frantically.

“This isn’t going to end well,” I mutter, moving from my chair. My eyes shift between the three on the sidewalk.

“You’re right about that,” he tells me as we slip out the front door of the coffee shop onto the sidewalk. Edmund, Ciara, and I exchange glances as we wait for someone to say something. I see Finn speaking to Rian and know this is going to go one of two ways. My stomach does a flip for my friend.

Nervous laughter from Rian’s direction pulls our attention back toward him. They’re standing next to each other now, and Rian holds his hand out to Ciara. “Be safe, you two,” Finn says and turns, leaving back in the direction he came.

“What did he say?” I burst out, unable to hold back the question any longer.

Rian’s face falls. His voice is serious when he speaks. “Well, how serious is your dad, typically?”

“Deadly,” Edmund answers for us. Ciara and I both nod in agreement.

“He told me not to try to hide from him and that if I hurt you, he would kill me. So, we’re taking him seriously then?” His face goes white when we all nod in agreement again.

Edmund busts out laughing. “I’m Edmund. Guess you’ve met Dad.” Stepping toward him, he reaches out his hand, and Rian shakes it.

“Rian. It’s good to meet you. Though I may not live long enough to get to know you, man.” Rian shrugs, and I almost fall over with how hard I’m laughing now.

* * *

Edmund.

I watch as Rian slips my sister’s hand back into his and looks back up at me. Pushing away a pang of jealousy, I let my eyes fall to Rae and my heart squeezes in my chest. “Do you two want to join us for dinner?” Rian’s voice brings my attention back to him. I know he is asking to be polite and I don’t want to intrude on their time together.

“Oh. Um… thanks, but I think we’re just going to head back to the keep,” I tell him, turning to Rae. “After all, Rae had a long night last night already. Didn’t you?” She glares at me, but nods. I know I am going to pay for that jab, but I can’t help it. I’m over this whole situation between us.

“It’s just us tonight then.” Ciara looks at Rian and my heart hurts for myself. I crave that and the woman I crave it with is right next to me, oblivious. “I’ll see you guys later. Thanks again for the ride, Edmund. I’m sure Rian won’t mind dropping me off later.”

“As long as he is man enough to come within twenty yards of the keep after the warning he just got,” I retort, watching Rian nod in my direction.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be scared off that easily,” he reassures me as they turn and head off toward the restaurant.

“You two have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Rae calls after them.

“And what exactly is on that list of things you wouldn’t do, Rae?” I let a playful smile spread over my face as I speak.

“Shut up, Edmund. Just take me home,” Rae scoffs.

“Not yet.” I take a risk and slip my hand into hers. “Come on, let’s go have a few beers and you can tell me about your night, or not, but I don’t want to go home yet.” I know I have an uphill climb. We were raised together, practically brother and sister, getting her to see me any other way will be difficult. But I’m tired of waiting for it to happen on its own and I’m going to make my move to push her in the right direction now. Now or never. I give myself a peptalk.

As our hands touch, I feel the jolt of electricity through me and wonder if Rae feels it too and chooses to ignore it or is completely oblivious.

“All right,” she says, squeezes my hand and turns to the pub on the opposite corner of the street.

* * *

Rae.

When Edmund takes my hand I get butterflies in my stomach, the buzzing I feel moving up my arm is something magical and I squint as I look at him. I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way, he is like my little brother, and I haven’t ever imagined him any other way. Chewing on my lip nervously I contemplate blowing him off and heading home. But he says he wants to talk so we will talk. I knew this was coming, knew the time would come for the speech from him telling me I need to stop sleeping around and get my act together. He would only pick me up so many times from strange men’s homes before this day arrived. I guess it has.

I don’t let go of his hand as we head to the pub and when I glance over at him I see something on his face that makes me smile. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but he looks happy and as my friend I want him to be happy, I don’t want him to struggle with Ciara finding her mate as much as I am.

We order drinks and sit at the bar in silence, neither of us making eye contact with the other, the soft exchange between us when we held hands on the street long forgotten.

“Look at the two of us, we’re pathetic.” I sigh, dropping my head into my hands. I squeeze my eyes closed. There is a tightness in my chest, overwhelmed with so many new emotions around Edmund is making it hard to breathe.

“We should be happy for them,” Edmund tells me, acknowledging that he isn’t and that he knows I am not. I just nod.

“Why does it have to be so hard?” I scoff, still pouting.

“Because we are jealous. That is all this is. We need to get over it, Rae.” He reaches out and puts his hand on my leg, I feel a shock go through me, something I’ve never felt before with any man, least of all Edmund. My eyes go wide and I watch him nod at me slightly. “Can I ask you something?” His voice is soft. My stomach flutters and I don’t know what to expect out of his mouth next. He is different tonight, in a good way, and I think I like it.

I simply nod at him waiting for him to go on. “Why are you doing it, Rae? Why are you putting yourself through this? You’re looking for something that you know you’re never going to find by sleeping around. Is it even worth it?”

I fist my hands in my lap under the bar, clench my jaw, and flare my nostrils at him. Then swallow hard, trying not to let the anger coursing through me show. I know he is concerned. This isn’t a dig at me, it is a genuine question. But I don’t have the answer.

“I don’t know, Edmund. I really don’t.” I shake my head, tears stinging my eyes.

“You’re looking for something, something you’re missing. But I don’t think this is the way to find it.” He is right, I’m looking for something, not just someone. The same way I was looking for it from Cody last night but didn’t get it. I needed something, and I was hoping if I slept around enough I’d find the man who would take control over me and give me what I’m craving.

“Tell me what it is, Rae.” I turn and look at him, he is incredibly different tonight and I like it, he is taking charge with his questions and it is calling to something inside of me.

“To give up control,” I tell him, without hesitation. I don’t know why I do it. Don’t know if his question caught me off guard, but I say the words without a second thought. “To be able to find someone who can actually control me.” I sigh, fidgeting in my seat. The physical pain of hearing the words out loud makes me wince, it is something I didn’t expect to feel.

“Why?” I raise my eyebrows at his question as I take a sip of my beer.

“Because I’m always the strongest, always the more powerful being in the room. I want to let that go. I want someone to…” I trail off, lost in the thought. My next words fill my mind but I don’t want to tell him, don’t want him to make fun of me for it.

“To what, Rae?” Edmund touches my hand on the bar, his thumb rubbing over the back of it. I feel nauseous, bouncing my knees under the bar, looking at him I bite my lip. Who is this man? This isn’t the strong, silent Edmund I know.

“Dominate me.” I let the words fall from my lips, shrugging at him. I don’t see him flinch back from me, don’t see his mouth fall open in shock. I don’t see any of the responses I expected from him, instead I see Edmund’s smile as he nods at me squeezing my hand again.

“So, you think if you keep putting yourself out there in these situations that you’ll stumble upon one man who will take it? Even though you’re willingly offering your submission, you’re hoping someone will force it from you?”

I contemplate his words. “I mean I was never in any real danger, it’s not like they could best me if they tried.” I shrug. We both know that as a vampire none of the men I go home with could actually hurt me physically, the emotional damage I am causing myself is another story.

“Rae, will you go somewhere with me?” Edmund’s voice is low and steady, his eyes are full of something I can’t explain.

“Sure. Where did you want to go? I mean, we’re out now. But did you have someplace else in mind?” Edmund nods at my question. Hesitating a moment longer he lifts my hand and presses my knuckles to his lips.

“Tomorrow night. I want you to come with me to Dublin.” Letting out a deep sigh he goes on, “I think I know what you want. What you need and I know where you can find it. But only on one condition.”

I wait for him to go on, but he doesn’t. “Do I have to agree to this condition before I know what it is?” I chew on my lower lip. My eyes locked on his.

“No. I’m just trying to decide the best way to say it.” He pauses again, rubbing his hand over his face and I can hear his palm scratch against the stubble there. “If we go, you go with me. As mine, Rae. You do not engage with anyone else. Understood?” His tone is sharp, and commanding, it does something to my insides. I tense and feel my thighs get hot, the wetness between my legs shocks me. This is Edmund. But the way he speaks to me now leaves me panting.

I nod at him, agreeing to his condition.

“Say it, Rae.”

“Yes,” I breathe out the word, still trying to steady myself.

“Yes, what? I want to make sure you understand, before I walk you into this place and you decide to run off. This is the one condition and I’m going to hold you to it.”

“Yes, Edmund. I’ll go as yours. Only yours.” When I say the words my ears ring and my head feels fuzzy. What is happening between us?

“Good. Now I lied about the one condition. I have another. But we will talk about it tomorrow. Let’s head home.” He stands, holding his hand out to me, and I don’t know why but I’m drawn to him. Placing my hand in his I let him lead me from the pub. This new in charge version of Edmund is calling to me and I’m enjoying it. But it’s Edmund.

“Stop overthinking it,” he tells me as we get to the sidewalk, making our way to the car, my hand still locked in his. “Just stop, Rae. Take it for face value. This is what it is now.”

“What exactly is it?” My eyes are wide when we stop in front of his car. I’m so confused I just look him up and down.

“You’ll figure that out tomorrow. For now, get in the car. I’m taking you home. I’ll not have you out here tonight or any other night, falling into another man’s bed. I’m done with that. You’re done with that. Understood?” I nod, the buzzing spreading through my body warning me about his tone. His body language, the meaning behind his words. “Say it, Rae.”

“Yes, sir,” I say. I don’t know where the 'sir' comes from. I mean for it to come out sarcastic, but it doesn’t. It is something else and I watch Edmund’s eyes flare amber in the night.

* * *

Edmund.

The drive back to the keep is quiet. I don’t know what has come over me, but I’m done with her bullshit. Done watching her with other men, it is my turn, my time, and I am going to claim what is rightfully mine. What I’m owed. I know what she needs. I know how to take care of her and I’m going to make damned sure when I’m done with her, mine is the only name that crosses her lips again.

Feeling even more brazen after our conversation I reach over and take Rae’s hand in mine. Having this connection between us tonight is driving me forward. She doesn’t move, doesn’t pull away from me, but I can tell from the tension in her body that she is unsure about the exchange between us, the change in direction of our relationship.

I don’t care, don’t let her shake me. This is it, now or never. I am going to claim my mate. I’m over waiting.

* * *

Rae.

When Edmund takes my hand in his I sit stock still. Busy thinking through our conversation, his words, his assertiveness. It has me incredibly turned on, and confused. But what I felt when he touched me back at the pub and again as he holds my hand now can’t be ignored and I can’t turn him down now, I already agreed to his plan.